Please help me with my college application essay. I am happy with it but i have not had someone look at it
I believe that Literature is the soul to the imagination. I may be mistaken, but that is the allurement of literary words. There is no truth, no right nor wrong, yet there is just about everything to learn on life. Miss Brown, my form four English teacher, has really inspired me in ways I never though were possible. She was definitely one in a billion.
Before meeting Miss Brown, I had absolutely no interest in Literature. She was a tall, slender, blonde woman, with many life experiences: from working in South Africa during apartheid times, and enduring breast cancer. Before my introduction to her, the only books I considered worthwhile to read were my science and history books. It may have been because I was never good at annotating poems, let alone understand a phrase written by Shakespeare. Also reading a fictitious book bored me to death. Finally, being forced in form four, without any way out, to do a subject I had no idea how to work around for Cambridge final exams was terrifying. I simply accepted that there will be D grades in all my report cards.
During my first Literature lesson, I was mostly inattentive. But because Ms Brown was pleasant and funny, I actually had minute memories of when I was fully alert and following along. After lunch, I returned to my room in the brown-walled, loud boarding house. I began revising the notes she had handed out. To my surprise, I had understood most of the notes. But what really befuddled me was getting a B plus for the first Literature test. At that moment I concluded that I am actually not disastrous in Literature; with continued reading, I could actually get my intended A grade. Or it may have been the excitement of knowing I had understood the subject for the first time. I do not know, but for sure Ms Brown was not like any other teacher I have met with her skill for making Literature classes sensible. What really makes me admire her is that she made me fall deep in-love with Literature with a smile and whilst fighting against breast cancer! She was always in class whenever she was not ill even if we remonstrated that she take a break; She would always say in an imperturbable tone, "I do not want to impoverish your chances of getting your deserved grades in your final exams," if telling us how much our parents are paying per lesson. How strong can a person really be?
Although I did not develop an interest in Shakespeare and Aristotle, prosaic authors such as Danielle Steele, Stephanie Meyer, Shawn 'Jay-Z' Carter and anonymous authors became my heaven; each author has a story to tell that helped me gain a different outlook on life. For example "Wings" by Danielle Steele has probably had the strongest influence in my life. It is based on a girl, Cassie O'Malley, who endeavors to get into aviation as people did not see it fit for a lady. Her own father, who owned an air strip, did not believe that she should be flying around; instead he believed Cassie should be married. Because of the book, I have kept the desire to become a cardiologist close to my heart regardless of the time it may drain from me, and the number of people who believe it is not a career for women.
Because of Miss Brown's knowledge here and there in various languages, she has encouraged me to put down the English novels to concentrate on learning German and Spanish. Although it will not be an easy road, I know very well the languages will become useful in the future. She witnessed the Apartheid times and beat breast cancer, why should I not be able to learn two new languages?
from working in South Africa during apartheid times, tonot sure if this is the right word...maybe overcoming? breast cancer.
, being forced in form four, without any way out, to studyan unfamiliar subject for Cambridge final exams was terrifying.
I do not know what don't you know? I think this phrase doesn't really add anything to the sentence , but for sure Ms Brown was not like any other teacher I have met, with her skill...
What really makes her admirable
anonymous authors became my heaven "heaven" is an odd word to use here...maybe you mean inspiration?
Because of Miss Brown's knowledge in various languages
I'm also applying to Princeton - can you take a look at my essay as well? thanks :)
She was a tall, slender, blonde woman, with many life experiences ranging from working in South Africa during apartheid times to overcoming breast cancer. Before my introduction to her,I had absolutely no interest in Literature; in fact the only books I considered worthwhile to read were my science and history books.
This way you make the beginning of the second paragraph more interesting.
Overall it is a good job!
We might have met up with a lot of people throughout our life, yet people leave and life still goes on as what it used to be. The person that I admire the most is none other than my mother. I admire her the most as she possesses most of the qualities that we should have in order to success in our life.
I think one of the most endearing qualities she possesses is genuineness. When you meet a genuine person, they tend to look you directly in the eye and many times they touch you in order to connect. That’s how she communicates with others. She doesn’t have the average walls up that many people have in life. She seems to touch everyone in a way where one can immediately connect with her and for sure she has no false pretenses. She crosses all barriers and has the ability to connect with others and radiates great empathy to others. It’s almost like she has an additional sense. She never pretended to be perfect or know all the answers but one thing is for sure anything she tells you is coming straight from the heart.
She has been very patient with me and supports me in everything I do. She has done a lot to boost my self-confidence and self-esteem. She does not scold whenever I fail in something, instead she will console me and make me feel better by telling me stories about her own failures and achievements throughout life. She also makes all kinds of sacrifices, big and small for the sake of her children. She has always been my source of inspiration and pillar of strength.
My mom is the one that is always there, the person I can count on, the one that will never turn her back on me. The one that supports, helps, hug, kisses, gives me confidence, comforts, listens, makes me laugh, cheers me up and wipes my tears. She will definitely be the one that I always admire and love the most.