Well done Sehar!an excellent effort.One thing that i can assure u is that u r not going to fail in the essay paper provided u continue with exercise like this.So keep it up.
Now come to the critical appraisal of ur essay.Well,ur essay.on the whole,covers most of the areas of the topic except a few other points that could have been included.
Social Problems:1-Illiteracy 2-Feudalistic culture(Social as well as an economic problem) 3-Sectarianism and religious extremism 4-Population 5-Corruption 6-Identity Crisis(This is both social and political problem----Punjabis,Sindhis,Balochis and Pakhtuns are looking for their identity---people are not sure about their identity---divided into sects,ethnicity and diff.social classes----ideological divide is conspicuous;whether it is an Islamic State or a Secular state,do we need federalism or unitary form of govt.,some ppl argue over our cultural identity and so on and so on...)
Many of the points were present in ur essay but what i ve done is the prioritization of the issues according to their gravity and alarmness as i ve noticed.
In ur ''Remedies'' portion, in a paragraph,ur last sentence was ''To control terrorism,govt. needs to stop fighting the proxy war on behalf of USA.'' To me,it is a weak sentence since u r saying something very imp. and then not going to corroborate it with sound arguments.It doesnot leave a very good impression.It would have been better if in the very next para,u had chosen to delineate on the point.
But here i must acknowledge that u keep a very good expression and a striking style of writing an essay.keep it up.
The 14th August, 1947 is day of liberation of Muslims from narrow-minded, cruel and tyrant Hindus. The Muslim before partition of subcontinent of Asia had been facing countless problems. The creation of Pakistan was never an easy job. One of most popular Asian poet Allama Iqbal had dreamed for separation country for Muslim because Muslims before partition even were not allowed to perform religious activities freely. The rights of women were eliminated. The great internationally known leader Mr. Quid-e-Azam struggled for separation of Pakistan with other hardworking subordinates thus the history registered. At the time of independence there were numerous problems which were somehow resolved. The development of Pakistan has been realistically remained on slow side despite of this there are many fields in which Pakistan has progressed. At present, the country has caught up some serious issues which are causing Pakistan. Pakistan has been declared Worst County in the world. The country has been playing in the hands of dictatorship and dishonest so called parliamentarians since its liberation. Pakistan is facing hundreds of problems at this time but today we are going to share with our valuable visitors about alarming problems of Pakistan:-
Terrorism Activities in Pakistan:
Terrorism means the use of violence to make the people brighten. The terrorism is leading problematical issue across the world but Terrorism in Pakistan has become highly destructive problem in recent few years. Thousands of innocent Pakistani women, men and children have been died due to terror activities. The peace of the country has been destroyed due to suicidal attacks, target killing and Bomb blasting. The citizens are frightened and afraid of such kind of activities. The important and big cities of Pakistan are especially affected due to terror attacks. Normally terrorists are against the policies of government. They try to destroy the government buildings, offices and such other popular places. The economy of Pakistan has destroyed as no one wants to invest in Pakistan due continuously ongoing problems. Foreigners are taking out their business in other Asian countries. There are some internal and as well as external forces which don’t want to see Pakistan prosperous. Moreover, the field of sports has also been affected badly. The athletes and players don’t want to visit Pakistan due to threats of lives. Especially after the attack on Sri-Lanka cricket team the condition has been thoroughly changed. There are plenty of reasons for terrorism in Pakistan and one of the most important that the political leadership is dishonest.
Energy Crises in Pakistan:
Energy is considered most important instrument for a developing country. A country can never be developing without having resources of energy. The use of energy is compulsory in every field of life but it is very disappointing to say that Pakistan having largest natural resources is lacking of energy crises. The load shedding of electricity was genuinely started in recent few years but the crises of energy are on peak at present. You can imagine that Karachi is the hub of trade but the period of load shedding in Karachi varies from 12 to 14 hours a day. The industries have completely been destroyed. People are moving their industries, business and professions to other Asian countries. The management of energy has been organized to Water and Power Development Authority (WAPDA) but the WAPDA is now being rated as one of the most corrupted institution of Pakistan. The role of Government of Pakistan is nominal for development and rehabilitation of WAPDA. Energy crisis is another great problem for Pakistan over the years. There are number of factors are responsible for energy crises such as there is not water in Pakistani rivers, plenty of new connections, theft of electricity, lack of proper power generation planning and also the corruption. The factories/work unit/industries are near to end which is causing unemployment in the country. The students are also in great trouble due to energy crises as they could not give proper time for studies. Pakistan is the 7th Nuclear power of the world. The consumption of energy can easily be completed furthermore the resources of coal are in tons but despite of this Pakistan having shortfall of electricity.
Educational System in Pakistan:
Education is the basic right of every human being. It has power to drag a human from darkness of illiteracy into the light of knowingness. Everyone should have a specific set of skills to survive in this complicated world and set of skills can be designed as education. Education has been declared compulsory for everyone in Islam. A country can never progress without appropriate educational system. Education is one of the fundamental factors of development. Education system in Pakistan has been divided into 03 categories such as primary education, high secondary education as higher education. It is very unfortunate to say that the educational system in Pakistan is suffering. There are plenty of weaknesses in the educational system at present which require especial attentions. There are countless private institutions are now being seen everywhere which are providing nonstandard and quality less education to the children. There is double standard of education; one is for poor and impoverished people and other for rich people of the country. The illiteracy rate is very high in Pakistan. Furthermore, the educational institutions are doing business instead of proving quality education. It has also been examined that one of the major reason for educational crises is to make children compelled to study English syllabus while our national language is Urdu.
Unemployment in Pakistan:
Unemployment is the leading problems across the world. Millions of people are in search of suitable jobs and situation in Pakistan as far as concerned to unemployment is much alarming. It is said that whenever the problem of unemployment raises it create plenty of others such as terrorism, snatching of mobile & other wealthy allied, killings and many others. There are plenty of reasons for unemployment like that poor education system, energy crises, high age of retirement and recommendation system. There are thousands of people who have completed their education and looking for job but they are disappointed due to bad managerial system of provincial and federal government. The poverty rate in Pakistan is on peak therefore the uneducated, unskilled and people have also been affected due to unemployment. With the passage of time unemployment is increasing instead of decreasing. People are lacking from fundamental needs of lives. The world says that the people of Pakistan are highly talented, hardworking and work devoted despite having these abilities and skills they are compel to move other countries to earn livelihood. The energy crises have destroyed the business of Pakistanis. People transferring their business to Bangladesh and Sri Lanka thus the lower class people are getting unemployed very rabidly.
Dishonest Political Leaders:
It is the country of full of natural resources. There are countless sources of Pakistan if that utilized properly Pakistan would become powerful, developed and prosperous country in the world. However dishonesty of political leaders has been the problem of Pakistan since its creation. We are lacking from honest and well-wisher leaders that can make Pakistan emerging country in the world. Pakistan is unable to find frontrunners like Quid-e-Azam and Allama Iqbal. The Politician of Pakistan has been relied on 02 parties one is Pakistan Muslim League N (PMLN) and other is Pakistan People Party (PPP). Both these parties have been nothing for the welfare for Pakistan and its people. These parties have been doing government over the year but have produced nothing. The party members are found to be dishonest, thief and corrupted. Another new party namely Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf is growing up at present which is chaired by former Pakistani cricketer Imran Khan. People of Pakistan are seeking something from Imran Khan. Is he capable to stable the Pakistan? Can he make Pakistan developed? Can he remove scourge of corruption? Can he bring prosperity in the county? Can he finish terrorism in Pakistan? These are the questions.
Environmental Problems in Pakistan:
Environmental Problems in Pakistan are troubling the balance between economic development and environmental protection. The environment has continuously been disturbing the live of humans, animals and natural resources of Pakistan are destroying very rabidly. There are plenty of reasons that are creating environmental problems. The environmental problems can be categorized as Noise pollution, air pollution and water pollution. The pollution of Air and Water is causing Pakistan at big time. The smoke of factories, industries and vehicle are polluting the air environment. Noise pollution is also hazard for health and noise pollution in Pakistan is on peak. Air pollution is also the leading problem in major cities of Pakistan and as per record it reveals that 90% vehicle causes of air pollution. Pollution control system in Pakistan is not working properly therefore it is very difficult to remove this pollution.
Corruption in Pakistan:
Corruption in Pakistan is very common thing. The ratio of corruption is very high in government institutions particular police, judiciary and department concerned to public visitors. It has plagued Pakistan from the very moment it came into being. The political leaders, bureaucrats, officials even a vendor is also corrupted in Pakistan. The development of the country is totally depends of education but educational system has badly been affected due to corruption in the country. The railway system of Pakistan is near to destroy due to heavy corruption in Pakistan. The people from Officers to lower class workers are getting violated money from Railway Department. Furthermore the Pakistan International Air is abolishing due to corruption in every field of department. The field of sports is also not save from corrupted people in Pakistan.
Ultimate Solution of Problems in Pakistan:
Pakistan is carrying countless problems and issues due bad system at the present and there is no hope if remain as it is. The corrupted, dishonest and un-qualified have made loss to Pakistan and this system is still continued therefore it is the responsibility of the people to elect the honest and work devoted people that can think about to make Pakistan prosperous and risk free. The people sitting in national and provincial assemblies are treacherous, deceitful and unfair. They have nothing to make policies for the betterment of country and nation.
Moreover, the government in power should play role in the development of Pakistan and finishing the above problems by doing hard work and removing the corruption and corrupted political leaders. There are many countries that are interesting to help Pakistan for ending of ongoing problems in country. The China is the progressive country neighboring Pakistan is ready to help out whatever and whenever need.
The army of Pakistan is considering one of the best armies in the world and Pakistan is already doing operations against terrorists and anti-Pakistan elements. It has been seen on multiple occasions that some foreign countries want to disturb Pakistan. The government of Pakistan alongwith Pak army should take some king of serious actions to stop the activities.
The Department of Police of Pakistan is one of the leading notorious institutions in Pakistan. It is the responsibility of Police to make such kind of planning and to stop crimes and other criminal activities being done in the country.